Sunday, March 7, 2010

In the Land of Milk and Honey

Lets talk about clothes. What about em? I'm not sure, definitely not what hot and what not. This isn’t about street wear or high fashion, or anyone invested or involved in either. No, I’d rather talk about the unfashionable, the unfly, and the anti-hip. The ones, who, like the rest of us, are required to cover up; but for reasons undisclosed, chose to do so in a highly uncomplimentary manner. You know the ones, the dude who swears up and down the block, while his face turns purple, that he has multiple of a certain outfit, because he's been called out for wearing the same black Carhartt sweatshirt, Brett Favre jeans, and pair of boots for the last 3 years; Or the guy who sports cotton sweatpants in shades of gunmetal otherwise unseen on planet earth.

You’ll typically encounter the same arguments; if he's not choking on his own Adams apple trying to explain his clone-trooperesc wardrobe, he’s probably telling you, “I just don't give a shit!’ Oh yeah? As happy as I am for you that you think you’ve escaped the pop-culture trap that has taken control of the world; I don’t believe you. In fact, for your sake, I don’t want to believe you. Let me just go ahead and say it, you should give a shit. Everyone else does. Are we materialistic? Sure. Maybe even a lot bit shallow. Just let me tell you though, you think your flying first class on Humble Airlines, flight 101, cause you dress like the Unabomber, but your not. Your inability to relate to the world unfolding around you does not place you on a moral high ground. Nor does “not giving a shit…” In fact, while your busy fielding what I’m sure has been years and years of dirty looks and inquiries into your unpalatable sense for flair, I just bought what I saw everyone else buy and got the hell on. After time you can even begin to get ahead of it all. Start to learn what was cool, apply it to what currently is cool, and you might possibly ascertain a hot lead on what might take over the street corners, mini-malls, and nightclubs in the near future.

Now what about your final excuse for making public appearances in clothes intended for pregnant or nursing mothers of 5? It has something to do with comfort, correct? The classic, “I wear what feels good” is the most common retort offered by these classy individuals. I cant begin to imagine what’s going on inside of that Snow fox emblazoned crew neck, that makes it worlds more comfortable than any other coat. Effectively eliminating all somewhat contemporary pieces from contention. Ironically enough, “it feels good” is also the most common remark uttered from shop-a-holics maxed out, overdrawn lips. Because feeling good is the name of the game, and if it doesn’t feel good to be recognized for a statement made effective by uniquely designed t-shirts, or rare salvaged denim; than it will at least feel good to not stand out as the guy who cant decipher the difference between, “I work on a farm to support my family” clothes, and everyday fashion. Trust Me.


  1. LOVE THIS! And this is why I wear uncomfortable heels, buy $300 hangbags, and $200 Citizens of Humanity denim jeans... Because I DO GIVE A SHIT =) Amen.

  2. You're style reminds me a lot of early Maddox. Check his stuff out if you haven't already.
    He was at his best back around 05'-07'